THE GOOD MOTHER:

The Good Mother?
If there is One universal truth that I have found to be true, it's that all moms or moms-to-be strive to be a "good mom". As I sit staring at my ever-expanding belly(I'm pregnant with my 4th child), I pondered what that really means. I have learned that there is no "right answer". From the moment I locked eyes with my first born son, I can tell you that the love I felt for him can not be put into words and that the desire to be a "good mom" started to blossom.
Motherhood means different things to different people. From the mom who works long hours so her child can attend the best schools to the mom who stays at home so she can be present for every milestone, both mothers love is immeasurable!! Over time, my definition of mothering well has evolved. It is through my own mistakes that I've learned that parenting, in and of itself, is a constantly expanding school of knowledge! When you see your two year old scream bloody murder because his day isn't going well and it mirrors the fit you threw earlier because the dog ate your shoe, you realize mothering forces you to face your own weaknesses. The daily lessons I hope to bestow on my children are the exact ones I have had to wrestle with!
There are some things that I've learned along the way that have really helped me to grow as a mom. I'd like to pass them on to anyone who might benefit from them so maybe your journey can be a little less trial and error. Some I've discovered while others are gems from mommies before me. Either way, use what's useful to you and disregard the ones that don't apply.
1) Resist the temptation to use all the fancy gadgets and hold your baby as much as possible when they're a newborn. Not only is it good for them, it's good for you too!
2) Take care of you!!! Being a good mom means being a good example. I have seen mothers who feed their baby home-made organic baby food and enroll them in infant swimming so as to keep their child healthy and fit. All the while, the mom is eating Mcdonald's and hasn't exercised since middle school gym class. Children learn about life by what YOU DO, not by what you say! Believe me when I say that they are constantly watching your every move!!! They are more inclined to do what you DO, not what you SAY.
3) We all have bad days where we are spent from a night of teething babies or temper tantrums that we simply have to get through the day. It's ok to not love the "mothering thing" sometimes! Find some good mom friends that you can call and share your fears that your sweet Mikey eats his ear wax or that your sweet Bessy has an affinity for cat poop. These women are an invaluable source of strength and reason in a world that can often be unreasonable! When you spend your days with 2 year olds, you need grown up conversations too!
4) Sleep is your friend!! Take it from a former late night( ok all night!!) teenager, you need to get enough sleep. Sure, you can get by on sleep but, I assure it catches up to you. Dealing with your colicky 3 month old while driving home from picking up your bickering school-age children is much more bearable after a 30 minute power nap! It takes some practice but, I can now fall asleep in less than 30 seconds flat!
5) When children scream that they hate you and declare that they no longer need your mothering services, it is actually code for "I need you, now more than ever!" I once was told that it is when our children push us away that they need us the most and when they depend on us too much that we should foster their independence. It is lessons like these that make me look at my own mother with such love and reverence!!
6) Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them.
Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them.
Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from him.
Soft is the heart of a child: Do not harden it.
-Pamela Glenconner. One of my favorite quotes :)
7) Our children ARE NOT miniature versions of ourselves!!! Children shouldn't be born with the job to inflate your ego! They are their own beautiful, unique souls. Get to know them and learn about what makes them special.
8) Being a mom means knowing the difference between having a close and honest relationship and trying to be your kids friend. If you love your children you will have the courage to discipline them and teach them how to treat people. Trust me when I say that letting your kids do whatever they want is not a gift! Their future bosses, wives, husbands, teachers will thank you!
9) Don't be the mom that can't see her Childs faults! If my children are playing with your kids and I hear "OWIE, stop it!!!" I instantly say "what did my child do?" Maybe, they are guilty, maybe they aren't but, I will not ever be the mom who says "Oh, no not MY CHILD!" Not only does it do your kid a disservice it makes other moms frustrated if you are blind to your Childs imperfections.
10) Enjoy being a mom!! Remind yourself as you are sitting in the middle of the "tent city"(Aka your living room) that these moments are fleeting! Soon they will be moving out and you will miss the times that they still came and gave you hugs without being asked.
11) When tempers flare and you are met with rolling eyes and burrowed foreheads remember what it was like to be a child. Discipline should come from a place of love and understanding. Time-outs aren't just for the kids. Parenting is best done when we are calm enough to say things so our love comes through...not anger. Your message will sink in either way.
12) When you ask most kids what it is they want most from you...it's you!! Make time to play, cuddle, laugh and just enjoy each others company. You will never get this time back in their lives. Make it count.
13) Strive to be a good mom, not a perfect one. We all make mistakes! One of the best gifts we can give to our children is to show our vulnerability. Life is messy! When you busy yourself with aiming for perfection you miss out on what's most important.
14) If you have a strong desire to be a good mom, chances are, you already are :)

ALL IN A DAYS WORK....

The familiar glow of morning light shines through the window and I can hear his sweet baby sounds. He giggles and coos and sucks on his feet. I'm tired. I had a fitted sleep filled with hazy memories of diaper changes and midnight nursings. I roll out of bed and put on my slippers and slide on my robe. I put on the light and my baby boy sees me and his face lights up in a tender smile. It's like sunshine hitting my face on a cold day and any pang of resentment I harnessed for my lack of rest washes away in an instant. I gently pick him up and cradle him in my arms and breath in his sweet smell. He laughs with excitement, his high pitched belly laugh that makes me laugh too. I place him on the changing table and as I tend to him I become increasingly aware that I'm being watched.
I go about my business trying to act as if I don't notice them. Little hushed giggles coming from the hallway. Like a flash, my daughter comes running into my room and rushes to her baby brothers feet. She likes his feet, nibbles on them while more belly giggles fill the room. I notice my daughters outfit. She's wearing her brothers soccer shirt and his old church pants. I quietly chuckle to myself that she finds this comfortable sleeping attire. Her hair is disheveled and her eyes have that slightly droopy look that shows that she's just woken up. My son Andy walks into the room next. He immediately comes and embraces me, as he has done every morning since he was a boy, my gentle natured, cuddly son. He picks up the baby and we head out to the kitchen to start our day.
As I make my coffee out walks my son Nikolas. He's rubbing the sleep from his eyes and I notice that he's wearing his shirt backwards, his hair's sticking straight up. He wanders over to me slowly and gives me a long hug, resting his head on my shoulder, which, at eleven, he now reaches. The baby sees him and squeals in excitement, my first and last born, tied in a special bond that bridges their age difference without notice. As I sip my coffee I notice that Alexia is sitting on the kitchen floor reading a book to her dolly. She says each word, enunciating each letter slowly and carefully, taking her time. The sweet part of this scene is that she's holding the baby in a self made "baby sling", much like the one I wear most of the time. Nikolas is the first one to begin his schoolwork, doing so without me asking, making me thankful that I am blessed with a child who is self-motivated. Andy is weaving in and out of the room, hurriedly, hoping I won't notice the remote control he's taken apart. He does this "for fun" to see how it works. I ask him if he's started his work, to which he replies "I'm doing a science experiment. It counts Mama, it's science!" I decide to stop him, only because we have our weekly home school cooperative in two hours and he needs to do actual work. Before I can enter his room, he comes running out dressed up in his Halloween costume. This is funny because it's the costume he wore several years before so it's REALLY REALLY tight! This makes my mom, who's sitting at the table eating her breakfast, laugh so hard she snorts! More giggling ensues and now the baby squeals again with delight. This high pitched noise excites our chihuahua, who begins howling in a yodeling type howl, happy to contribute to her family's conversation.
Andy looks over and sees Nik doing his work so he decides to start his. He sits down at his desk and starts working. He is still in his ninja costume. As I work with Alexia on her math problems I notice that Andy is, once again, out of his seat. I call from the study "Andy, GET IN HERE, NOW!" No answer. I call again. No answer AGAIN! I mutter obscenities under my breath as I walk towards his room and BOOM!!!!!!!!! Andy, jumps from around the corner, scaring me to death! More muttered obscenities, to which Alexia chimes in from another room "Mama, you said a potty wawd!" Her odd Boston sounding accent gets me every time, and I can barely keep from laughing as I say "You are right sweetie. Mommy should not say that word." Andy now realizes it will be defcon 5 if he doesn't act like he's really taking this work thing seriously so he, still in the ninja costume, grabs a book off the bookcase and buries his nose in it, as if deeply enthralled with what's in it. Sadly for him, he fails to notice that it's a thesaurus.
I just stare across the room with a poker face. This is a far better tactic than yelling with Andy. He is a a sensitive child who, all kidding aside, wants to do well. He simply is our "class clown, and likes to start the day by making those around him smile. Andy can't read my mood so he FINALLY decides to do his work! I go to play a language arts game with Alexia, only to find her sitting at the table with ALL of her book work done! She is grinning from ear to ear, beaming with pride. I give her a great big hug and thank her for being such a "big girl". She responds by saying "No, I am and you AND daddy's big girl" then she darts off into her room, only to quickly turn around to give Eli kisses first. I go from child to child, at this point,helping them, as needed. Sometimes this means talking them through a problem, other times it simply means repeating back the question to them so they figure it out themselves. We gather our belongings and head out the door to be with friends at our weekly coop. I buckle the baby in his car seat and get in my van. As I look in my rear view mirror I see my children, all sitting quietly, looking out the window. I get a tinge of bittersweet aching in my belly for I know these times are priceless. My kids are all growing so fast. Nikolas put 's on our favorite song and we head off down the.....
HOLY BATMAN!!!! I notice that ALL the kids have on their Halloween costume.....more obscenities muttered.....more Lexi going "Mama you said a potty wawwwwwd!"
And such is a day in the life of a home school parent.
Quite frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Daddy...

The girl sat on her mothers bed, a girl of 7, with almond, brown eyes and thin, yet silky raven hair. Her feet dangled over the side of the bed as she slid closer to her mother, as if she was going to tell her a secret. She was a girl filled with questions and uncertainties. "Mommy, why doesn't daddy write to me?' she asked her mother. Her mother looked into her daughters troubled face and said the first thing that came to mind. "He doesn't have any stamps, sweetie" she says, knowing that this answer would not suffice for her curious child. The young girl began to cry. Then, since she doesn't have the words, she instinctively pulls her daughter into a tight embrace, hoping that she could ease the pain, the void that is so palpable, in her child's heart. A pain that will grow and metastasize into a bitter rage during the girls adolescent years.
That girl was me, as you may have guessed, and this conversation happened as a result of my parents divorce, when I was two years old. From the moment my mother left, my father no longer existed in my life. He signed away his rights to me, without any argument, when I was just six years old. His vacancy was felt deeply in my formative years. It just so happens that my mom met and married a wonderful man, when I was 7 years old. As I sit here today, cleaning out my jewelry box, I find a tiny little name bracelet that reminds me of another time in my life that stands out among the many clouded memories that I vow to keep from fading away. It's gold, with my name etched in cursive on the front. The back has a date on it. November 21st, 1982.
 I will never forget this date. In fact, I can sit here and picture the days happenings in my mind like it was yesterday.
My mother dressed me in a creme and violet dress. George, her new husband, lifted me up in his strong, yet tender arms, so he could speak to me at eye level. "Jennifer" he said. "We are going to the courthouse today for something very special. Today is the day that the court will grant me the right to be your daddy. Do you understand?" he asked nervously, wanting so very much to feel my love and acceptance. "Yes" I said ,timidly. "Do you have any questions?" George asked me, studying my face to see if my young mind was grasping the depth of the situation. I sat, fidgeting for a moment, then looked into his deep brown eyes and said quietly, almost in a whisper ,"Um, would it be ok if I call you Daddy?" This man, who was holding me in what seemed to be the strongest arms in the world, began to cry. He cried tears of joy and held me close, in a protective embrace, and said "Jennifer, I would be honored if you called me your daddy." With that, he put me down and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small red box and popped it open for me to observe. It held the name bracelet. He said, and I will never forget the intensity of his words, "From now on, you will have a daddy. I will never leave you or mommy. You are my daughter and no matter what you do, no matter what you say or how you act, I will always love you." He reached for my tiny wrist and clasped the bracelet on gently.
This was so many years ago. Yet, he stood by his word. My father is the epitome of a man. He is always pragmatic and dependable. He supported me through the pain and abandonment issues I had, as a result of my biological father's actions. I married a Greek man, much like my father. The old adage that girls marry a man in their fathers shadow held true for me. As I have matured and become a parent myself, I have realized what a gift my father gave me by accepting me into his heart. The bracelet was just a bonus. So, I tuck it away, in my jewelry box to keep it safe, much like I tuck away these memories. Unlike the bracelet, I carry them with me always. I will always remember that I once was a girl  who wanted nothing more than a fathers love...

Our Adventures in Homeschooling!!!

Lately, I haven't had the time to write because frankly, we've been uber busy!!! Here's a photo montage of some of our adventures....

This Is Why I Homeschool..

A note from my 11 year old son:

Mommys Little Secrets :)

WARNING: If you are prone to judgement and criticism, please just skip over this blog. I am going to share things about myself that may cause you to judge me so please go easy on me.

As I lay my head on my pillow and fall into dreamland, I often wonder if I am being too idealistic about how I view my parenting. Am I being realistic with how well my children are doing? I thought it best to just "put it all out there". Sometimes, I think, I am prone to see things how I want them to be and not how they actually are so please, take a moment to take a peek into my life and feel free to give me any constructive criticism.

1) My children are really well behaved in public but, at home, it's a totally different story. My sons compete over EVERYTHING! They bicker for sport and do so simply to pass the time. My response to this is to A) Tune it out or B) Ask my boys if anyone is bleeding or losing a limb. I refuse to get sucked into their fights! I feel that it will only lead to me being a referee or judge and I simply do not have the time to argue about whether a sandwich is a fraction of a molecule bigger or whether so-and-so can burp louder! I do intervene if there is physical fights but, only to separate them for a short cool off period. To quote Bill Cosby "Parents don't care about justice. They want quiet". He was a very wise man :)
2) My house is not spotless nor is that a priority. I clean in spurts or when I just can't stand it anymore. There are dust bunnies on my dust bunnies every once in a while and, while I don't like it, I feel like I have a ton of other things I could be doing other than cleaning my house.
3) To add to that, I am horrible about tending to my laundry. I am really good about putting the load of wash into the washer then into the dryer but, somehow that's where it ends. I have piles of CLEAN clothes that I need to put away. I am hoping that one day, my fairy God Mother will come and instead of taking me to the ball, will kindly put my clothes away in the proper spots.
4) I have an alarm of some kind in my house that goes off every night at 11:28pm and I am too lazy to go searching for it to shut it off. It is likely one of my kids toys but, I don't really know and well, I just pretend it's a cuckoo clock.
5) I have been known to drop all "school work" to go to the park because I want to socialize.....or if the weather is nice....or if I don't feel like saying to my one son for the 50th time "have you done your math yet?"
6) I can't remember the last time I gave my big dog a bath! It was warm outside. I know that much!
7) I use a work box system for home schooling. I fill up the kids work boxes each night for them to do the following day and the idea is that they will finish all of them by a certain time. Well, sometimes they do and sometimes I just leave it for the next day. I usually will make them finish them or find another applicable activity for them to do. Usually, but, not always.
8) I am prone to breaking out in really bad dances just for the heck of it. I purposely do the funky chicken or my version of the "Milli Vanilli" dance. My children see this. They now, imitate me. This might cause them to be judged in college.
9) I talk to my kids very openly about most things. This is not for me, so that I can talk but, for them so that they can feel comfortable asking me questions. Most things, within reason, are not off limits. It is because of this that my husband has given me really odd looks when he comes home from work. My daughter announced to him that she had a "china" and boys had a "pouli" and that this arrangement simply was unfair. She was three at the time and was obsessed with peeing standing up. We would often walk past the bathroom only to do a double take because she was standing on top of the potty with pee streaming down her legs. My husband would chastise me for not making her a "lady". My response to this was to agree and then secretly chuckle. Please, if you see my husband, keep this bit of information to yourself.
10) My purse is in a sad state at the present time. I had a small purse but, decided to get a larger one and this decision was not one of my better ones. My purse has become my children's official "hiding zone" from one another. My daughter hides toys that she has sniped from her brother and my son attempts to hide things he's sniped from his sister and so on and so forth. I once found a a piece of hot dog in there that my daughter had been hiding in her pocket. It was raw but, somehow seemed edible after many weeks. It seems hot dogs have a ton of preservatives and probably should not be fed to children or pets. I won't judge you if you do. I'm just passing along information.
11) Speaking of dogs. I use my dogs as vacuum cleaners. I know the vet says that they should not eat people food but, the way I see it, my dogs live a life of luxury where they have no "tricks" that they have to do or any real responsibilities so it's the one way that they can contribute to the household. My husband thinks I am bonkers because I spend a lot of money on "natural, homeopathic dog food" then let them eat all our scraps that my kids drop. This is another instance that I smile and nod. I see a pattern forming here. This may be an issue I should address in another blog.
12) I often leave the house without requiring my sons to comb their hair. I also let them dress themselves. They, for some odd reason, wear their shirts inside out and backwards. My sons went through a faze were they didn't zip up their fly's but, then I noticed that none of their friends did either so I just left this one alone.
13) I have been known to let my children fall asleep where they may and just hope that they find their way to their bed. They are extremely deep sleepers and while still in a dream state, would cry for hours if I tried to move them because they thought that I made them leave an amusement park or Birthday Party(They seem to have this recurring dream). My one child(I will keep their names private to protect the innocent) actually did physically get up and move toward their bedroom but, I later found him/her laying all sprawled out on the bathroom floor. I did what any good mom would do and put a pillow under his/her head.
14) I pay my son to bathe. My 11 year old is oddly fixated on his hairstyle, spending an hour making it look just so but, refuses to take a shower. I tried a sticker chart but, he lost it and I just now, remembered that we were using that. I will go try to find it now because this shower business is getting really expensive!!!

I don't drink but, reading this makes me think that maybe I should start.

See, I cover them and Lucy makes sure they are warm.

I'm "Just A Mom"...

One of my earliest memories was when my mom dropped me off at preschool one day. I was a child of four, shy and withdrawn in the company of strangers, with a kind and quiet manner. This memory is faded and murky but, stands out because I can recall how I FELT with such intensity. I remember wanting my mother so much that I would stare out the window of the preschool and imagine myself walking to her work. In my mind, I could easily make the long and congested trek, if only my teacher would let me. I recall crying gently in my blankie, pining for my "mommy", hoping 3 o'clock would come quickly, so we could be reunited again.
Flash forward a few years and another memory stands out boldly among the others in my winding staircase of a brain. It was the first day of school during what was to be my 3rd grade year. My mom walked me to class while I nervously held her hand, my little hand in hers, clammy with sweat. I remember smiling at her as she exited my homeroom, me smiling bravely at her, putting on a brave face. As soon as I knew she was a safe distance away, I promptly buried my face in my hands, trying to hide my tears and anxiety from the other students. It was this moment that maybe, just maybe, the seed was planted that allowed me to consider home educating my children.
I also knew that I was different from other kids when we would talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up. Little boys would say things like police-officer and little girls would say things like a teacher or a nurse. I would simply say "I want to be a mom". Not to say that working moms aren't moms. I just knew with every fiber of my being that I wanted to be the kind of mom who didn't have to go to another job outside the home.
This is not to say that I am particularly domestic. I don't enjoy cooking  nor do I bake very well. I don't really have a "cleaning schedule" although, I did read a book called "The Fly Lady" that suggested that if I wear my shoes in the house all the time, I would be more likely to clean "something". My natural and inherent volume is louder than most. Yup, I'm a shouter! A practice that most likely is a genetic trait that dates back to my Italian heritage. I have been known to have a sailor mouth, another by- product of my heritage. This time from my Irish grandmother, God rest her soul. I don't sew or knit or macrame or possess any other domestic talent that stands out above others.
You might be thinking, at this point, that I should have yearned for a different occupation in life. So, let me share what I AM proficient at. I am very good at adapting to my children's needs. While my natural inclination is to yell, I am aware of this malady, and am constantly trying to remedy it by reading books on positive parenting, while simultaneously trying to implement their practices. I am quite loving and intuitive with my children. I make it a point that they feel loved, attended to and secure. I spend a lot of quiet moments with each of them and try to just be "present". I am good at evolving WITH them and adapt my parenting to their many stages of growth and maturity.I focus a lot of my energy on helping them deal with their strong emotions and, at times, hot tempers. A gift, I think, for my future daughter/son in laws. Finally, I think I am pretty good at putting myself in their place. My goal as a mom is three-fold. I want them to have a memorable childhood that was filled with delight and wonder. I want them to learn to be good, kind and thought provoking human beings who know their value in this world. Lastly, I want to prepare them for their adult life by simply facilitating them in their passions and helping them to reach their goals and life's pursuits.
I'm just a mom. I don't have a resume, a cubicle or an office with a view. I've never written a book or starred in a movie. I won't be winning a pulitzer prize or acquiring my P.H.D in anything in the near future. My closet isn't filled with fancy suits or designer shoes. My clothes are bought for comfort so I can get dirty playing in the leaves with the kids. My toes aren't manicured unless you count multicolored blobs painted by a 6 year old as being "manicured". My idea of a work out isn't hitting the gym but, consists of playing hide and go seek, duck-duck goose or rocking my baby tenderly to sleep.
I'm just a mom and my legacy is carried in my children and in their children and so on and so forth.
It is in the family I have created. I imagine Sunday dinners and loud, boisterous family gatherings filled with grandchildren and family recipes.
My legacy will be in the conversations my children will have when I'm long gone about how I, above all else, believed in them , rallied for them, fought for them and put their needs above my own.
Yup, I'm "just a mom."

"I Knew She Wasn't Shy!!!!!!"

So this week something magical happened! Something that, I am so lucky to have witnessed. In order for me to tell you, I'm going to have to give you some background information. This isn't my first year of homeschooling. I actually dabbled in it before, when my boys were between 6 & 8. I say dabbled because I lacked the confidence that I have now, so I always had known in the back of my head that my kids would end up back in school again. At the time, I had a lot of family members second guessing my abilities. I also, had custody of my God-daughter, a teenager who , at the time, was really struggling. My focus had to be on her, more often than not. I also am my WORST critic! I let the "should's" invade my brain. The "should's" are things like "Shouldn't he be reading?" or "Well, my Brutus read the Iliad at the age of 4. He is now working on his P.H.D at Yale university. He's 8" Comparing your children to others is a big no no in my book. It will only cloud how you view your child and you will surely miss out on seeing the wonderful abilities that your child has. No good can come from it!
Now, as I boldly enter the world of home-schooling for the 2nd time, I am armed with so much more confidence in my abilities to guide my children in the world. Chalk it up to more experience and having spoken to enough veteran HS parents. I don't stress if we don't get to everything that I wanted to that day. I don't feel inadequate if another parent tells me of their child's amazing abilities. I feel happy for them and know that my kids are exactly at the place they need to be. Learning is a part of our lifestyle so my kids are less inclined to get upset if I ask them to do "work" with me on a Saturday or Sunday. I am learning to focus more on the whole picture, not just the parts. So, if Andy asks if he can tell me the answers to an assignment instead of writing it, I am learning to be ok with that. The point is to make sure he is acquiring knowledge, not MAKING him write it. I trust that, in time, he will learn to enjoy writing somewhat. He is extremely creative and artistic. He is also very sensitive and able to clearly communicate his feelings. That's such a precious gift to be able to, at 10 years old, state how you hurt, how and why you are angry, how you see yourself in situations. It's only a matter of time and maturity, I think, for him to see that writing can be creative and artistic.
Speaking of maturity, the something I was speaking about earlier....the magical something is about my Lexi(aka "Monkey Marie"). She was always such a little character at home. She likes to dress up in her brothers clothes, she's loud, silly, warm and loving, highly verbal(with a Boston accent that we aren't sure where she acquired it??), prone to break out in odd dance moves for the fun of it, a melodic and harmonious singer that enjoys breaking out in song for no reason, is a little fish who, when she was baptized didn't cry, she laughed out loud because she loves water so much, strong-willed yet very respectful, seems to be lacking the "mean gene", cuddly girl who nursed for a VERY long time, gentle sister who really loves her siblings. She is the type of child that, in a fit of anger, has never said "I hate you!" Instead, she internalizes things so she might yell "You hate ME!"
Lexi was this way at HOME. However, as soon as we went out in public, you would never know it. She became a painfully shy child who froze up if spoken to by anyone she didn't know. Upon entering kindergarten, these shy feelings only exacerbated. I felt a sharp pang in the pit of my stomach the first time that I volunteered in my sweet daughter's class as I saw her avoiding interaction of any kind with the other children. The contrast between how she acted in the safety of our home from how she acted at school was remarkable! Then, starting in June, we began our home school journey. As time has gone on I have noticed a slight blossoming in her public persona. Then, we started going to our first Tallahassee Home school Group Park Day two weeks ago and everything changed. We are also involved in a co-op and home school soccer. I noticed my child approaching other little girls to play. I noticed that when adults try to make a connection she responds. Then, the unthinkable happened yesterday. On the way to my Dr's appt. she turned and looked at me and proclaimed "Mama, I am not shy anymore!!!!" In the doctors office she went up to different nurses and doctors and playfully introduced herself. She circulated the room and enjoyed having interactions with everyone she encountered. My child has come out of her shell, so to speak. It was a wonderful to thing to witness. I have witnessed it before. My son, Nikolas was the same way.....until I began home schooling him. In a matter of weeks, the same thing occurred with him. I recognize this as a normal part of what naturally evolves when your child is surrounded by so many parents. It must feel safer. I have noticed the children are kinder in home school circles. Not better, just less prone to use ugly or derogatory statements to each other. Maybe that's why. Maybe it's because I am never too far away from her now and she feels safe to be herself. I don't know the why, I only know the how. The common denomintor seems to be home educating my children. It has happened twice now, when I pulled my child from the public education system, both times, in a short amount of time. It is a glorious thing to watch unfold, to see your child lose their insecurities, in a matter of weeks. Maybe they just matured really quickly, but, I believe it is a direct result of the environment that home- schooling offers. It's one of the reasons I began home educating my children. I wanted them to have the opportunity to have a childhood that lacked all the school drama. I wanted them to feel free to be eccentric and unusual without being put down for it. Uniqueness seems to be celebrated in the home school community. I've noticed that the parents are like this , as well. We embrace each others differences, even celebrate them! I know this because I feel this same feeling of acceptance, too. I can't speak for everyone but, over all, despite having exceptionally different ways of home educating our children, we all bond over our common goal of wanting the best for our kids. It is as communal as you can get!
With that, I need to begin our day, at home, as a family. My children keep coming in and poking at what I'm doing. "Mama, what are you writing, they ask", like it's some secret operation. My daughter keeps coming and sitting on my lap to get cuddles and kisses. My oldest son keeps coming in and reading his newest book to me. My sweet Andy is in the living room building a model. I am typing while wearing my 6 month old on my back in a sling. Yes, I feel blessed :)

Just some sayings that inspired me:

Morning walk with Nikolas...

Fall is upon us and we felt a slight coolness in the air today. We saw a birds nest with baby birds. We spoke of traveling to Colorado and going snowboarding together. Nikolas is such a bright, kind, gentle child, at times. Other times, I get a glimpse of the next stage in his boyhood as he enters adolescence. He can be ornery and morose and it pains me to know that it's at these time he needs distance. I must respect his independence. He is still a boy who likes his back tickled before bed and finds bathroom humor entertaining. Motherhood is such a blessing!!! I treasure these precarious moments, as they are fleeting. Have a wonderful day!

Big Idea...

I am starting to expand my idea of homeschooling even more today! I know it may seem that I'm all over the place but, in order to get the most out of home educating my children I think I need to try new things until I find a system that works the best for our family. I like using the work boxes however, I don't like that we are separated while we learn. I am wondering if a unit study approach might work for our family. I am going to design my own to use in a few weeks as our next adventure. I think it's important to keep things fresh. With the unit study approach we can enjoy more time together as we learn. We may even invite another close friend who's homeschooling to join us for this endeavor of he wants to. How much more do you imagine my kids would learn if they could do it alongside a treasured friend? How exciting it would be to spend a couple of weeks really delving into a subject as a unit! I would treat this a special privilege to learn this way so it will build excitement in my children's hearts for being able to learn this way. Maybe, if they see our education as a privilege, they might change their perspective on learning each day. I've spoken to another homeschool mom who's a close friend of mine and we've tinkered with the idea. Now, I'm ready to start planning it with her so Sheila, let's get busy collaborating and make some home school magic happen!

Our Progress So Far....

Wow, have things changed and evolved in our house!!!! So, last time I left off, I was experimenting with unschooling and sharing my insights into this wonderful lifestyle. While it serves many people well full time, I have found that, for us, we teeter more on the edge of eclectic home schooling. Eclectic homeschooling is essentially taking pieces and parts from different styles and curriculum's and making it work for your family. You have to understand....there are so many wonderful options for homeschoolers that I am finding it hard to say that just one will work for us. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, in our first year back at home education I want to explore different ways of doing things to see what fits our lifestyle best.

Right now I am still using the workbox system to help our day run smoothly. I love how streamlined it is and my children love that they can finish their work quickly and move onto the serious business of playing or visiting with our homeschool friends. We have enrolled in art classes and soccer and a science class. We still have our wonderful Tuesday Co-op weekly. This week we have the Tallahassee Home School Group starting their weekly "Park Days" on Thursdays where we plan on meeting many other families and visiting with our treasured HS friends, too. Here is our schedule so you can see what a "Week in the life" looks like: (We HS year-round so we follow a 4 day a week schedule)

Monday- Our first day of the school week. - Workboxes

Tuesday- Early wake up and workboxes followed by our weekly Co-op at 10am. Andy has art class at 5pm.

Wednesday- workboxes followed by pottery class for all the children at 12:15

Thursday- No workboxes today. Soccer from 9:15am-11:30am. Then, THG Park Play Day from 2-5pm.

Friday- Workboxes then Science Class at 10:30 followed by park play with friends.

Whew!!! That is a full schedule! However, I like it because it has a lot of times for frolicking and visiting with friends as well as art and even exercise built into it. After studying so much about unschooling I feel that a majority of our time shouldn't be spent "hitting the books' but instead, "living life". Maybe I am reaching here but, I am striving to have the best of both worlds. 

I have started reading a book called "The Well-Trained Mind; A Guide to Classical Education" by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise. It has a very different perspective to the idea of home education in contrast with unschooling. While I do not feel the need to follow the curriculum full force by any means, I see the benefit of some of the principles in it. I like the idea of small "lessons" where I work on helping my children work on their writing skills by using the methods of narration, dictation and copywork. I like that there may be some memory work that I would implement with the kids. This may seem odd coming off of a week of unschooling but, I realize that my kids may not ever have the opportunity to have any memory work since I don't do tests and do not plan on starting. Memory work can be fun if it's done right. This method uses songs. My kids enjoy singing and so do I. 

As you can see, I am expanding my idea of what homeschooling looks like for our family. I am trying to not be boxed into a particular style. My focus is on helping my kids get the most out of this year while enjoying our time together. We have started doing our Rosetta Stone Greek and it's be wonderful to hear the kids cautiously try out their new language. We have had some tough days so far but, the contentment and freedom far outweigh any negatives we have faced. We have started to feel welcome in the homeshool community and the school year hasn't even started so I am really thrilled and excited for what our future holds. I will keep you posted. Til next time... Happy Homeschooling!

From A Negative To A Positive...

Myths About Learning...

Earth Schooling is where it's at...

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAvGzCnA2yA&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Sent from my iPhone

Free labels...

I wanted to share a free download from a blog that I love. It's called "iheartorganizing.blogspot.com/"

If u can, go check it out! Here's the free download of labels for a pantry.

http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.com/2012/03/reader-space-swoon-worthy-dollar-store.html?m=1

The Day I wish I could Enjoy Again!!!

Yesterday was the kind of day that reminded me why I am so blessed to Homeschool my children. I can't wait to tell you everything about it but, first let me share some free stuff given away from a wonderful blogger called "Confessions of A Homeschooler". If you get a chance, go check out her blog. She is AMAZING! Here's the link:

http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/blog/2012/08/free-story-writing-printables.html

Now, onto my day...
I woke up super early and got in a great walk. This helped my mood and energy level substantially. My children woke up excited because Tuesday is Co-op day and we are blessed to be members of a wonderfully supportive group of homeschool families. Seriously, I couldn't of hand-picked a better group of people to corroborate with. They have so many qualities, I don't have enough room on this page to explain them! We finished our academics before we left at 9:30am. I felt so accomplished and so did the children. After coop, we were all in such good moods that the rest of our day just flowed! I did some things out of character for me and the kids were so thrilled. I went to Krispy Kreme in the middle of the DAY!!!!! After that, my kids played "store/ donut shop". Then, it began to rain and I let the kids play in it. What a treat! Seriously, if there isn't lightening or thunder, you should encourage this at least once. The children had a ball! Then, we all went swimming, once the rain stopped. The kids were happily exhausted. They snuggled up for their reading time before bed and fell into a deep slumber, content and filled with joy. That's what family life is about... Days like this. I can only hope today goes just as well. It won't be exactly the same. In fact, I never know what adventures we will end up in. That's ok. I wouldn't have it any other way.