Mommys Little Secrets :)

WARNING: If you are prone to judgement and criticism, please just skip over this blog. I am going to share things about myself that may cause you to judge me so please go easy on me.

As I lay my head on my pillow and fall into dreamland, I often wonder if I am being too idealistic about how I view my parenting. Am I being realistic with how well my children are doing? I thought it best to just "put it all out there". Sometimes, I think, I am prone to see things how I want them to be and not how they actually are so please, take a moment to take a peek into my life and feel free to give me any constructive criticism.

1) My children are really well behaved in public but, at home, it's a totally different story. My sons compete over EVERYTHING! They bicker for sport and do so simply to pass the time. My response to this is to A) Tune it out or B) Ask my boys if anyone is bleeding or losing a limb. I refuse to get sucked into their fights! I feel that it will only lead to me being a referee or judge and I simply do not have the time to argue about whether a sandwich is a fraction of a molecule bigger or whether so-and-so can burp louder! I do intervene if there is physical fights but, only to separate them for a short cool off period. To quote Bill Cosby "Parents don't care about justice. They want quiet". He was a very wise man :)
2) My house is not spotless nor is that a priority. I clean in spurts or when I just can't stand it anymore. There are dust bunnies on my dust bunnies every once in a while and, while I don't like it, I feel like I have a ton of other things I could be doing other than cleaning my house.
3) To add to that, I am horrible about tending to my laundry. I am really good about putting the load of wash into the washer then into the dryer but, somehow that's where it ends. I have piles of CLEAN clothes that I need to put away. I am hoping that one day, my fairy God Mother will come and instead of taking me to the ball, will kindly put my clothes away in the proper spots.
4) I have an alarm of some kind in my house that goes off every night at 11:28pm and I am too lazy to go searching for it to shut it off. It is likely one of my kids toys but, I don't really know and well, I just pretend it's a cuckoo clock.
5) I have been known to drop all "school work" to go to the park because I want to socialize.....or if the weather is nice....or if I don't feel like saying to my one son for the 50th time "have you done your math yet?"
6) I can't remember the last time I gave my big dog a bath! It was warm outside. I know that much!
7) I use a work box system for home schooling. I fill up the kids work boxes each night for them to do the following day and the idea is that they will finish all of them by a certain time. Well, sometimes they do and sometimes I just leave it for the next day. I usually will make them finish them or find another applicable activity for them to do. Usually, but, not always.
8) I am prone to breaking out in really bad dances just for the heck of it. I purposely do the funky chicken or my version of the "Milli Vanilli" dance. My children see this. They now, imitate me. This might cause them to be judged in college.
9) I talk to my kids very openly about most things. This is not for me, so that I can talk but, for them so that they can feel comfortable asking me questions. Most things, within reason, are not off limits. It is because of this that my husband has given me really odd looks when he comes home from work. My daughter announced to him that she had a "china" and boys had a "pouli" and that this arrangement simply was unfair. She was three at the time and was obsessed with peeing standing up. We would often walk past the bathroom only to do a double take because she was standing on top of the potty with pee streaming down her legs. My husband would chastise me for not making her a "lady". My response to this was to agree and then secretly chuckle. Please, if you see my husband, keep this bit of information to yourself.
10) My purse is in a sad state at the present time. I had a small purse but, decided to get a larger one and this decision was not one of my better ones. My purse has become my children's official "hiding zone" from one another. My daughter hides toys that she has sniped from her brother and my son attempts to hide things he's sniped from his sister and so on and so forth. I once found a a piece of hot dog in there that my daughter had been hiding in her pocket. It was raw but, somehow seemed edible after many weeks. It seems hot dogs have a ton of preservatives and probably should not be fed to children or pets. I won't judge you if you do. I'm just passing along information.
11) Speaking of dogs. I use my dogs as vacuum cleaners. I know the vet says that they should not eat people food but, the way I see it, my dogs live a life of luxury where they have no "tricks" that they have to do or any real responsibilities so it's the one way that they can contribute to the household. My husband thinks I am bonkers because I spend a lot of money on "natural, homeopathic dog food" then let them eat all our scraps that my kids drop. This is another instance that I smile and nod. I see a pattern forming here. This may be an issue I should address in another blog.
12) I often leave the house without requiring my sons to comb their hair. I also let them dress themselves. They, for some odd reason, wear their shirts inside out and backwards. My sons went through a faze were they didn't zip up their fly's but, then I noticed that none of their friends did either so I just left this one alone.
13) I have been known to let my children fall asleep where they may and just hope that they find their way to their bed. They are extremely deep sleepers and while still in a dream state, would cry for hours if I tried to move them because they thought that I made them leave an amusement park or Birthday Party(They seem to have this recurring dream). My one child(I will keep their names private to protect the innocent) actually did physically get up and move toward their bedroom but, I later found him/her laying all sprawled out on the bathroom floor. I did what any good mom would do and put a pillow under his/her head.
14) I pay my son to bathe. My 11 year old is oddly fixated on his hairstyle, spending an hour making it look just so but, refuses to take a shower. I tried a sticker chart but, he lost it and I just now, remembered that we were using that. I will go try to find it now because this shower business is getting really expensive!!!

I don't drink but, reading this makes me think that maybe I should start.

See, I cover them and Lucy makes sure they are warm.

I'm "Just A Mom"...

One of my earliest memories was when my mom dropped me off at preschool one day. I was a child of four, shy and withdrawn in the company of strangers, with a kind and quiet manner. This memory is faded and murky but, stands out because I can recall how I FELT with such intensity. I remember wanting my mother so much that I would stare out the window of the preschool and imagine myself walking to her work. In my mind, I could easily make the long and congested trek, if only my teacher would let me. I recall crying gently in my blankie, pining for my "mommy", hoping 3 o'clock would come quickly, so we could be reunited again.
Flash forward a few years and another memory stands out boldly among the others in my winding staircase of a brain. It was the first day of school during what was to be my 3rd grade year. My mom walked me to class while I nervously held her hand, my little hand in hers, clammy with sweat. I remember smiling at her as she exited my homeroom, me smiling bravely at her, putting on a brave face. As soon as I knew she was a safe distance away, I promptly buried my face in my hands, trying to hide my tears and anxiety from the other students. It was this moment that maybe, just maybe, the seed was planted that allowed me to consider home educating my children.
I also knew that I was different from other kids when we would talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up. Little boys would say things like police-officer and little girls would say things like a teacher or a nurse. I would simply say "I want to be a mom". Not to say that working moms aren't moms. I just knew with every fiber of my being that I wanted to be the kind of mom who didn't have to go to another job outside the home.
This is not to say that I am particularly domestic. I don't enjoy cooking  nor do I bake very well. I don't really have a "cleaning schedule" although, I did read a book called "The Fly Lady" that suggested that if I wear my shoes in the house all the time, I would be more likely to clean "something". My natural and inherent volume is louder than most. Yup, I'm a shouter! A practice that most likely is a genetic trait that dates back to my Italian heritage. I have been known to have a sailor mouth, another by- product of my heritage. This time from my Irish grandmother, God rest her soul. I don't sew or knit or macrame or possess any other domestic talent that stands out above others.
You might be thinking, at this point, that I should have yearned for a different occupation in life. So, let me share what I AM proficient at. I am very good at adapting to my children's needs. While my natural inclination is to yell, I am aware of this malady, and am constantly trying to remedy it by reading books on positive parenting, while simultaneously trying to implement their practices. I am quite loving and intuitive with my children. I make it a point that they feel loved, attended to and secure. I spend a lot of quiet moments with each of them and try to just be "present". I am good at evolving WITH them and adapt my parenting to their many stages of growth and maturity.I focus a lot of my energy on helping them deal with their strong emotions and, at times, hot tempers. A gift, I think, for my future daughter/son in laws. Finally, I think I am pretty good at putting myself in their place. My goal as a mom is three-fold. I want them to have a memorable childhood that was filled with delight and wonder. I want them to learn to be good, kind and thought provoking human beings who know their value in this world. Lastly, I want to prepare them for their adult life by simply facilitating them in their passions and helping them to reach their goals and life's pursuits.
I'm just a mom. I don't have a resume, a cubicle or an office with a view. I've never written a book or starred in a movie. I won't be winning a pulitzer prize or acquiring my P.H.D in anything in the near future. My closet isn't filled with fancy suits or designer shoes. My clothes are bought for comfort so I can get dirty playing in the leaves with the kids. My toes aren't manicured unless you count multicolored blobs painted by a 6 year old as being "manicured". My idea of a work out isn't hitting the gym but, consists of playing hide and go seek, duck-duck goose or rocking my baby tenderly to sleep.
I'm just a mom and my legacy is carried in my children and in their children and so on and so forth.
It is in the family I have created. I imagine Sunday dinners and loud, boisterous family gatherings filled with grandchildren and family recipes.
My legacy will be in the conversations my children will have when I'm long gone about how I, above all else, believed in them , rallied for them, fought for them and put their needs above my own.
Yup, I'm "just a mom."