"I Knew She Wasn't Shy!!!!!!"

So this week something magical happened! Something that, I am so lucky to have witnessed. In order for me to tell you, I'm going to have to give you some background information. This isn't my first year of homeschooling. I actually dabbled in it before, when my boys were between 6 & 8. I say dabbled because I lacked the confidence that I have now, so I always had known in the back of my head that my kids would end up back in school again. At the time, I had a lot of family members second guessing my abilities. I also, had custody of my God-daughter, a teenager who , at the time, was really struggling. My focus had to be on her, more often than not. I also am my WORST critic! I let the "should's" invade my brain. The "should's" are things like "Shouldn't he be reading?" or "Well, my Brutus read the Iliad at the age of 4. He is now working on his P.H.D at Yale university. He's 8" Comparing your children to others is a big no no in my book. It will only cloud how you view your child and you will surely miss out on seeing the wonderful abilities that your child has. No good can come from it!
Now, as I boldly enter the world of home-schooling for the 2nd time, I am armed with so much more confidence in my abilities to guide my children in the world. Chalk it up to more experience and having spoken to enough veteran HS parents. I don't stress if we don't get to everything that I wanted to that day. I don't feel inadequate if another parent tells me of their child's amazing abilities. I feel happy for them and know that my kids are exactly at the place they need to be. Learning is a part of our lifestyle so my kids are less inclined to get upset if I ask them to do "work" with me on a Saturday or Sunday. I am learning to focus more on the whole picture, not just the parts. So, if Andy asks if he can tell me the answers to an assignment instead of writing it, I am learning to be ok with that. The point is to make sure he is acquiring knowledge, not MAKING him write it. I trust that, in time, he will learn to enjoy writing somewhat. He is extremely creative and artistic. He is also very sensitive and able to clearly communicate his feelings. That's such a precious gift to be able to, at 10 years old, state how you hurt, how and why you are angry, how you see yourself in situations. It's only a matter of time and maturity, I think, for him to see that writing can be creative and artistic.
Speaking of maturity, the something I was speaking about earlier....the magical something is about my Lexi(aka "Monkey Marie"). She was always such a little character at home. She likes to dress up in her brothers clothes, she's loud, silly, warm and loving, highly verbal(with a Boston accent that we aren't sure where she acquired it??), prone to break out in odd dance moves for the fun of it, a melodic and harmonious singer that enjoys breaking out in song for no reason, is a little fish who, when she was baptized didn't cry, she laughed out loud because she loves water so much, strong-willed yet very respectful, seems to be lacking the "mean gene", cuddly girl who nursed for a VERY long time, gentle sister who really loves her siblings. She is the type of child that, in a fit of anger, has never said "I hate you!" Instead, she internalizes things so she might yell "You hate ME!"
Lexi was this way at HOME. However, as soon as we went out in public, you would never know it. She became a painfully shy child who froze up if spoken to by anyone she didn't know. Upon entering kindergarten, these shy feelings only exacerbated. I felt a sharp pang in the pit of my stomach the first time that I volunteered in my sweet daughter's class as I saw her avoiding interaction of any kind with the other children. The contrast between how she acted in the safety of our home from how she acted at school was remarkable! Then, starting in June, we began our home school journey. As time has gone on I have noticed a slight blossoming in her public persona. Then, we started going to our first Tallahassee Home school Group Park Day two weeks ago and everything changed. We are also involved in a co-op and home school soccer. I noticed my child approaching other little girls to play. I noticed that when adults try to make a connection she responds. Then, the unthinkable happened yesterday. On the way to my Dr's appt. she turned and looked at me and proclaimed "Mama, I am not shy anymore!!!!" In the doctors office she went up to different nurses and doctors and playfully introduced herself. She circulated the room and enjoyed having interactions with everyone she encountered. My child has come out of her shell, so to speak. It was a wonderful to thing to witness. I have witnessed it before. My son, Nikolas was the same way.....until I began home schooling him. In a matter of weeks, the same thing occurred with him. I recognize this as a normal part of what naturally evolves when your child is surrounded by so many parents. It must feel safer. I have noticed the children are kinder in home school circles. Not better, just less prone to use ugly or derogatory statements to each other. Maybe that's why. Maybe it's because I am never too far away from her now and she feels safe to be herself. I don't know the why, I only know the how. The common denomintor seems to be home educating my children. It has happened twice now, when I pulled my child from the public education system, both times, in a short amount of time. It is a glorious thing to watch unfold, to see your child lose their insecurities, in a matter of weeks. Maybe they just matured really quickly, but, I believe it is a direct result of the environment that home- schooling offers. It's one of the reasons I began home educating my children. I wanted them to have the opportunity to have a childhood that lacked all the school drama. I wanted them to feel free to be eccentric and unusual without being put down for it. Uniqueness seems to be celebrated in the home school community. I've noticed that the parents are like this , as well. We embrace each others differences, even celebrate them! I know this because I feel this same feeling of acceptance, too. I can't speak for everyone but, over all, despite having exceptionally different ways of home educating our children, we all bond over our common goal of wanting the best for our kids. It is as communal as you can get!
With that, I need to begin our day, at home, as a family. My children keep coming in and poking at what I'm doing. "Mama, what are you writing, they ask", like it's some secret operation. My daughter keeps coming and sitting on my lap to get cuddles and kisses. My oldest son keeps coming in and reading his newest book to me. My sweet Andy is in the living room building a model. I am typing while wearing my 6 month old on my back in a sling. Yes, I feel blessed :)