You Know You Are Getting Older When....

1)Upon running braless, people hear you coming and confuse you with a galloping horse. 2) You feel hungover & "ate up" after a late night even though u didn't bother to drink. 3) When staying up late watching TV, you see an infomercial about a bun and thigh clencher and, just for a moment, consider dialing the number on the screen. 4) You have classifications of clothes in your closet ranging from "comfy clothes" to "Jeans that I will fit in again one day" that you have saved to "inspire" you. 5) You start sounding more and more like your mother when disciplining your kids. 6) People try "not to look" if you spontaneously break out in dancing at a party. 7) When your parents come for a visit they walk around with a "perma-grin" because your kids are talking to you much like you spoke to them when you were a kid. 8) If you decide to "party" with your friends the recovery period slaps you in your place for an entire week versus a day or two. 9) Seeing pictures of yourself makes you do a double take because, you start resembling grotesque caricatures of yourself, that people get done when going to the fair. 10)"Going to a Party" is more likely to involve "spongebob" or "Dora" than it is bongshots and playing the cardgame "Asshole". 11) Cleaning takes 3 times longer because half the time is spent walking into rooms and forgetting why you're there.
12) You can remember what it was like when microwaves and cell phones didn't exist. 13) The act of sleeping ,in and of itself, causes you pain. 14) You start avoiding the sun instead of baking in it like a Thanksgiving Day Turkey. 15) You begin trying to calculate how many calories are burned during a good romp with your husband. 16) You remember when reality TV meant watching "The Real World". 17) People confuse you with a homeless person when you go out to get the paper. 18) While yelling at your children(and trying your hardest to sound authoritive) , you sound like an idiot because you call them by the wrong names or combine their names. EX. Jenn or Alana= "Jalana"

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