I write this blog entry with a little bit of frustration. I am humbled by so many aspects of my life but, I have to say that having a thyroid disorder is a challenging problem for me. In order to understand my dismay, let back up a little bit. After being diagnosed with a condition called Hashimotos thyroiditis right after giving birth to my 3rd child, I found myself in a very frightening state. I literally fell asleep at a red-light! I was exhausted but, after having a baby, I believed that I was just tired. However, I was gaining weight a rapid pace, instead of losing it. I also was having trouble producing breastmilk. All of this culminated into a very scary time in my life. After some time of being hypothyroid I began to feel beside myself with pain. I had never been obese. At 5'3' and 200lbs I was extremely unhealthy. Most of you know the cycle I was in. I would wake up on a diet and yet by midafternoon I would head to the refrigerator out of self pity, not once but, many times before bed. I eventually reached a point of no return where I saw myself declining rapidly. My young body was giving out in ways I could not allow to continue. So, I pulled my big girl britches on and began a journey of determination to change the way I lived. I began walking no matter what everyday. In a short period I started feeling my spirit begin to latch on to something I hadn't felt in a long while. I felt a shimmer of hope that I could find my way out of this. I started the atkins diet and joined a gym. Within 7 months I reached my goal and was down to my previous size, a size 4. I wish I could tell you it was easy but, there were many, many nights I went to bed crying. Regardless, I got up the next day and kept moving forward, one day at a time.
Now, let move forward to the present. I have maintained my weight through the years( as a vegetarian now) but, last fall I started feeling exhausted all the time and put on 10lbs within a month. I also started breaking out in hives and despite my exhaustion could rarely stay asleep. My doctor explained that I had been on the same amount of thyroid hormone for the past 3 years that was given to me when I was 200lbs. I was suffering from adrenal exhaustion from being on too much. Now, I was hyperthyroid. So, I have been gradually reducing my amount of synthroid to more closely match my present body size. For anyone with a thyroid disorder, this a slow process. Since the last reduction I am extremely sleepy and get headaches a lot. I have a husband who is gone most of the time for work(months at a time) and my parents are out of the country right now. It's just me and my 3 school-aged children(who, I might add, are out of school for the summer) right now and I am not feeling like myself. I try to make the most of the short bursts of energy I get after working out to swim with the kids or play basketball but, I yearn for my old self to come back. I hope and pray that this transition period is short-lived. I wish there was more for me to do to hurry it along but, I have been through this enough to know it's a fruitless to try. This blog is not about feeling sorry for myself. I think that sometimes when you put your worries on paper, it has a way of taking away their power. I am blessed with 3 healthy, happy(ok and eager to bicker) children with whom I plan on spending the lazy days of summer playing in every corner of our town. I won't let this "thing" get me down. One foot in front the other Jennifer.....
No comments:
Post a Comment