DEEP THOUGHTS ABOUT THE "SKIN" I"M IN....

Life is filled with so many challenges and it seems that from the moment I decided to care for my physical state my entire outlook changed. I am sure that by moving the blood through our bodies, our brains, we drastically affect how we approach our journey through this world. It's not a quick fix nor does it happen instantaneously. It is a gradual by-product of caring for our bodies and challenging them on a regular basis. Exercise has become as much a part of my life as eating or sleeping. While I can't tell you that all of my days are simple and stress-free, I can tell you that, for the most part, stress does not carry the same weight as it once did. I have the ability to get back up from hardships that used to hold me down for what seemed like an eternity. Life takes on a completely different temperature in the face of adversity if you are consistent with exercise. It sounds so simple, doesn't it?
This is where I am going to dig a little deeper. I believe that we all have a soul. We hear about people wanting to be "truly happy and content". We hear about people searching for inner peace. What if I told you that those things are not possible if we ignore the external. I sincerely believe that, as humans, we need to nurture our bodies before we try to tap into our inner workings. On a biological level, all kinds of wonderful things happen when we exercise. From dopamine being released, to increased blood-flow to our brains and muscles, to the release of chemicals that allow us to get a more restful sleep, our bodies react to movement and momentum. Thus, exercise is a way to allow the same things to happen in our lives. If we are strong of body we will also become strong of mind, as well. Our world doesn't seem like a vast precipice but, an amazing journey to which we have a say in how it unfolds.
I am a very spiritual person and believe in God. I thank God all the time for giving me this gift of a body that carries me through the world. Maybe it's not as pretty as it once was and is filled with imperfections. Nevertheless, it is an amazing vessel that harbours the "me" that I have grown to rely on. For a woman that, 4 years ago could not walk up stairs without getting winded, I am constantly amazed at my body's ability to evolve and sustain me through this world. I feel most alive when I can feel the blood coursing through my veins and the sweat rolling down my back as I "run one more lap" or push myself just a little harder than I thought possible. I stopped being "hungry" all the time when I chose food for it's purpose not for it's taste. I stopped being so closed off when I faced my fears each time I walked into the gym feeling less than the other people in it. So you see, there is a simple way to change the barometer of your life. It begins with you and your willingness to commit to a life of sustenance. It starts with getting up one day and putting one foot in front of the other....and then....to keep going, keep moving, building momentum, gaining strength. As your heart begins to pound and you exhale everything else quiets and you can finally hear your inner voice.

Trying to keep my focus on the BIG picture!!!

I write this blog entry with a little bit of frustration. I am humbled by so many aspects of my life but, I have to say that having a thyroid disorder is a challenging problem for me. In order to understand my dismay, let back up a little bit. After being diagnosed with a condition called Hashimotos thyroiditis right after giving birth to my 3rd child, I found myself in a very frightening state. I literally fell asleep at a red-light! I was exhausted but, after having a baby, I believed that I was just tired. However, I was gaining weight a rapid pace, instead of losing it. I also was having trouble producing breastmilk. All of this culminated into a very scary time in my life. After some time of being hypothyroid I began to feel beside myself with pain. I had never been obese. At 5'3' and 200lbs I was extremely unhealthy. Most of you know the cycle I was in. I would wake up on a diet and yet by midafternoon I would head to the refrigerator out of self pity, not once but, many times before bed. I eventually reached a point of no return where I saw myself declining rapidly. My young body was giving out in ways I could not allow to continue. So, I pulled my big girl britches on and began a journey of determination to change the way I lived. I began walking no matter what everyday. In a short period I started feeling my spirit begin to latch on to something I hadn't felt in a long while. I felt a shimmer of hope that I could find my way out of this. I started the atkins diet and joined a gym. Within 7 months I reached my goal and was down to my previous size, a size 4. I wish I could tell you it was easy but, there were many, many nights I went to bed crying. Regardless, I got up the next day and kept moving forward, one day at a time.
Now, let move forward to the present. I have maintained my weight through the years( as a vegetarian now) but, last fall I started feeling exhausted all the time and put on 10lbs within a month. I also started breaking out in hives and despite my exhaustion could rarely stay asleep. My doctor explained that I had been on the same amount of thyroid hormone for the past 3 years that was given to me when I was 200lbs. I was suffering from adrenal exhaustion from being on too much. Now, I was hyperthyroid. So, I have been gradually reducing my amount of synthroid to more closely match my present body size. For anyone with a thyroid disorder, this a slow process. Since the last reduction I am extremely sleepy and get headaches a lot. I have a husband who is gone most of the time for work(months at a time) and my parents are out of the country right now. It's just me and my 3 school-aged children(who, I might add, are out of school for the summer) right now and I am not feeling like myself. I try to make the most of the short bursts of energy I get after working out to swim with the kids or play basketball but, I yearn for my old self to come back. I hope and pray that this transition period is short-lived. I wish there was more for me to do to hurry it along but, I have been through this enough to know it's a fruitless to try. This blog is not about feeling sorry for myself. I think that sometimes when you put your worries on paper, it has a way of taking away their power. I am blessed with 3 healthy, happy(ok and eager to bicker) children with whom I plan on spending the lazy days of summer playing in every corner of our town. I won't let this "thing" get me down. One foot in front the other Jennifer.....

DOES PHYSICAL HEALTH LEAD TO FULFILLMENT IN LIFE OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND?

We all have passions in life! I believe that throughout our existence they tend to evolve. What started as a love of dance and movement, has become a genuine appreciation for health and vitality. I have come to realize how fragile our bodies are, in that, we only get one of them. Lately, I have found myself worrying about my friends and loved ones. All of this concern has me wondering why the general population doesn't seem to grasp how much of our life can be altered by whether we take care of our physical bodies! So let me pose the question: "Is it possible to be truley content and fulfilled if we ignore our physical state?"
For me personally, this is no-brainer. I know that I would never be able to feel "whole" if I ignored the state of my body. After the birth of my 3rd child I developed a thyroid condition that made me lethargic and bloated. I rapidly gained weight and often felt too tired to exercise. As my bodyweight increased, my appetite for food did ,as well. It seemed like a negative cycle that kept me a prisoner in my own skin. Oddly, even though the scale didn't lie, I still saw myself as the same lean woman I had always been. It wasn't until I saw myself in a home video that my world came crashing down. I didn't recognize myself at all! Still, this wasn't enough for me to make changes. I wasn't ready. I tried to convince both the world and myself, that I was sincerely happy.
What I have come to realize is this: "If you constantly are trying to show people how happy you are, deep down, there is work to be done." My body started giving me small signs that I was ignoring it. They were whispers. I was out of breathe when holding son. I stopped wearing heels as my feet hurt all the time from trying to adjust to my new form. Then, I went to the doctor and was shocked that those little whispers were becoming screams! My blood pressure was dangerously high and my doctor explained that if I wanted raise my children into adulthood, I would have to begin exercising and changing both HOW MUCH and WHAT I ate. Of course, I hated my doctor and vowed to never go back to see him again! I couldn't believe he had the nerve to bring up the elephant in the room! Nobody talks about a womans weight! In hindsight, I know that if something gets under your skin that much, it's because there is an element of truth to it.
As I drove home, I cried so hard that I broke the capillaries around my eyes. I pulled over and started to pray for God's help. I wish I could tell you that I woke up the very next day inclined with a new zest for life, but I didn't. However, I am fully convinced that's where the clarity began. As, I was sitting in my car on the side of a road, I caught a glimpse of a bumper sticker that read: "Take care of your body, it's the only place your soul has to live!!" Why hadn't I thought of that before? Why had I thought that my life could be complete if my body was falling apart? Part of it was my youth. I had never really had any major health crises so I could easily convince myself that I was fine. The other part was that I didn't believe in myself. I would rather spend my energy on convincing myself and everyone around me about how "fabulous" I was than actually put in the work! Exercise, seemed like a good past time for aerobics instructors, not for normal people like myself!(Oh, the lies we tell ourselves! I used to tell people that the only way I would run is if somebody was chasing me)Plus, I had tried to curtail my food intake many times and always went to bed feeling defeated. It seemed like an impossible battle!
I knew I had to start somewhere so, after careful consideration, I decided consistency was of the most importance. I lived in Colorodo when I was 21 years old and I remember a local man of 82 years of age, that I met once. He was in amazing health! He could have passed for a 50 year old! He gave me great advice that I completely ignored. (I was 21! I knew EVERYTHING!)He said that the secret to his vitality could be summed up by 3 things, all of equal importance: 1)Exercise everday, rain or shine, no matter what! If you don't love it now, give it time. It will become a part of your existence and you won't feel quite right if you don't do it.2)Eat slowly, eat small amounts, and eat well. He said that our diets should mainly consist of veggies, fruits,legumes and grains and to stay clear of processed ingredients, meats and sweets.I know this sounds like a diet that only a rabbit might enjoy but, eventually it allows you to feel energized and light on your feet. He pointed out that if I ate this way my focus would become less about taste and convenience and more about how my food made me feel after I was finished eating it. He also, stressed the importance of not overeating. He said that is the quickest way to become detached from our deepest thoughts. If our digestive system is overloaded it clouds our brain.3)His last piece of advice was to nurture my close relationships without fear or reservations. He had been happily married for 52 years. His wife, his children and close friends were the relationships he chose to put his time and energy into. He said that he never went a day without spending time in their company or letting them know how much he loved them. He was also proud to share how his philosophies on wellness were being passed down to future generations within his family. Family gatherings were usually spent moving their bodies, not sitting at tables, with the focus on food. Coming from a Greek/Italian lineage, this concept seemed foreign. Needless to say, I have come to embrace it.
Happiness means different things to different people. It is my belief that if we set out on our prospective journeys through life and ignore the very vessel that carries us through it, eventually we will run into limitations. God has given us these amazing, resilient bodies to charter our existence. My hope is that, you too, will nurture yours and find joy in doing so. It can be the start of a life you never knew possible.Getting the most joy out of life is a universal desire. While, we can't know God's plan we can certainly find strength in the decisions we make everday.We must respect our physical self, and in doing so, we will have the strength to nurture our souls. In many ways, they are one in the same. They can either bind us or set us free. I hope that we can all be like the wise gentleman I met in Colorado, running with our granchildren, without breaking a sweat!